Blargh

And lots of it.

I feel like an epic failiure, as a matter of fact. Theres so much i should do, i need to do, but for some unknown reason, i’m just not able.. Whilst i had so many ideas before, i feel empty, and everything is just, vague.

Also i can’t get myself to start anything big, because of my latest letter of joy from the Airforce, ordering me into 1 years service from the 9th of march. I’m sure its gonna be SOOOO fun! I feel like i’m rotting away and i can’t do anything about it. I try, god knows, i try. Thing is, it’s spun up to a point where i’m not sure what i’m dealing with, and there are times where i find myself wondering if whats happening is my own mental demise, that is, if i’m going insane.

But as Vintersorg once said, or sung, “Because thinking of thinking, evolves your thinking”, i wonder if i actually can grow insane AND be aware of it, since obviously i’m perfectly aware of it, inwhich it cancels out the theory(???). SNORE.

Anyways, i keep jewing around in games, trying MMORPG’s but quickly giving up on them because i feel lonely, either the persons i play with are too far away(read, america/canada or any other parts of hte world NOT situated close to me), or i just cant get used to the gameplay.. I liked that one.. Perfect world, but it felt so lonely. Kinda sucks that i’m shy, even inside a game. Fucked up!

So i fly alone in the depths of space, in Eve online.. Slowly gaining foothold as a mission runner and gaining.. eh.. stuff..

Playing Fallout 3 too, no mmorpg(YAY) but, rpg nonetheless, and massive fun.

I find myself playing less and less guitar, frustration of bad equipment.

Meh

~ by Reion on 10 November, 2008.